


Reticent

by Saberin



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, Kotori is a mystery honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 04:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13092186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saberin/pseuds/Saberin
Summary: In which Yazawa Nico loses her bravado / It's really just an excuse to write nicotori





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the first chapter was written like ....... a year ago and it took me really long to reconnect two abandoned chapters but here it is anyways. I hope y'all like it

She peeked behind the curtains, watching as the sew machine whirled under swift hands. All Nico could see was Kotori’s long hair flowing neatly behind, the usual tuft of hair sticking out like a sore thumb, the back view of her junior’s petite figure.

She missed the way Kotori’s brow furrowed in mild frustration; the threads were not coming together at all and her hands were trembling a little too much. 

She missed the way Kotori traced her fingers over the embroidery on the two handkerchiefs, a picture that was supposed to be connected and one to be gifted.

She really shouldn’t have done it, Nico thought, hating herself for coming to conclusions way to hastily. And now there’s nothing to be done.

* * *

 

_“What do I do now, Nico-chan… There is not enough budget to cover the costumes…”_

_The senior sighed almost dramatically, wondering who exactly was the one who decided that Kotori could make decisions with regards to food. Honestly they should just let her handle the food matters for their trip, Nico snorted at the basket full of potatoes, chips and sweets._

_“You bought too much. We’ll be having curry for ten days if you’d actually buy this much.”_

_“But-” There was hesitation in Kotori’s voice, but Nico could see relief flooding through her small frame, the amber eyes were almost smiling._

_“Budget. Just let me handle everything. The great Nico nii’s got this!”_

_And Nico thought that a smile suited Kotori best._

* * *

 

_The other members didn’t really realize the extent of Kotori’s job and kindness, Nico thought as she rang the doorbell. It was near nine at night, the streetlights barely illuminated the empty streets, and honestly she would be at home doing her uncompleted homework if not for Kotori’s text._

_The stumbling footsteps alerted her and a few seconds later the door was opened to a sheepish smile. One that she had seen one too many times recently._

_“Nico-chan! You came!” And maybe Kotori’s smile was too bright for her to handle._

_She turned her face away at the pretense of removing her shoes, throwing her coat at Kotori’s out stretched arms._

_“Of course. I’m a reliable senpai am I not?”_

_She heard the chuckling behind her as Kotori closed the door, and for some reason Nico could feel herself blushing._

* * *

 

_“So you brought all these home because you didn’t want to worry Honoka and Umi about the costume deadline?”_

_There was a small nod and Nico could feel her frustration return full force._

_“You know you should do what you like and not-”_

_“I like making costumes though Nico-chan.” A small frown that was almost immediately replaced with a smile._

_“But-” She could feel herself losing this argument._

_“Especially since I have you to help me with it now!”_

* * *

 

_She wondered if there was a specific term to this feeling that she always felt around Kotori, the desire to protect this little junior of hers, and to be the reason for Kotori’s smile._

_“Would Nico-chan go to the Tanabata festival with me?”_

_The sounds of chatter almost drowned out her thoughts._

_She wondered why she was the one Kotori asked._

* * *

 

_It was like she had no control over herself, Nico never thought that Kotori would suit traditional clothing so much. The bun complemented her perfectly, Nico thought, the wooden hairpin keeping the hairdo together. The usual tuft of hair was still there, and Nico almost laughed, because that was so Kotori._

_“Did Nico-chan wait long?”_

_“Nope!”_

_There wasn’t much to do at the festival, but Nico was still glad that she was invited. The tiny explosions signaled the start of the fireworks, and soon everyone was too blinded by the lights in the sky, while Nico herself was enraptured by something else._

_It was like she had no control over herself, as her hands reached out for Kotori’s, she must be out of her mind when they laced their fingers together._

_The last of the fireworks ended right then, and Kotori pulled away almost too quickly, a smile was plastered on Kotori’s face, but she could tell she messed up._

_Don’t look at me like that, Nico thought._

_“I-It ended. How about we go home now Nico-chan?”_

* * *

 

Maybe there was no other motives in asking her to help with costume making, and she was just simply thinking too much. The club room door closed once more, leaving just the two of them in the room. 

How did they end up like this? Nico wasn’t sure if she could take another day of avoiding Kotori altogether, even Rin noticed the awkwardness between them.

The sewing machine stopped and the room was plunged into deafening silence, before the curtain slid open, revealing a face that she wasn’t that willing to see.

 _“_ Nico-chan, I have something to tell you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok for real tho i really should stop staying up till 5am writing fics it is killing me

“What’s up, Kotori?” Nico asked, almost a whisper. She dropped Umi’s costume that she was fixing and clenched her cold fists tight together, unsure of how to behave. The curtain that separates them both was pushed to the side, and she suddenly felt _exposed._ After days of not being able to meet Kotori’s eyes, this was almost intimidating.

“That day…” Kotori began, and Nico found herself looking away, steeling herself for what was about to come. An explanation? A rejection? Whatever it was she wasn’t sure she want to hear it. There was little hint that Kotori even swung _that way._

She focused on the wall clock ticking, determined not to show a sliver of emotion. Kotori, however, placed a hand on her shoulder, effectively pulling Nico’s attention right back. Nico let out a small gasp at that, unconsciously locking gaze with those amber eyes. The flecks of gold almost reminded her of the fireworks that day, bright and blazing.

It almost hurt to see.

“It was nice.” Kotori finished quietly. And then there was silence again, save for the cicadas singing in the sweltering summer. The clock ticked on, and she watched nervousness fleet pass Kotori’s face before it was replaced with something that could almost be called expectant.

“Oh.” She replied a moment later, a little dumbfounded.

There was no point probing if Kotori didn’t want to tell, and as for her she was just glad that it didn’t seem like a mistake that was too hard to fix. It was just a slip of her hand. It wasn’t _that_ obvious right?

“Mm.” Kotori nodded, awkwardly walking back to the table. “Do you want to come over here?” She piped up after a second thought. Relief rushed through at that, and Nico felt warmth returning to her limbs.

So, Kotori didn’t _hate_ her?

She complied, because she could never say no to that face.

They spent a while like this, quiet after settling down, with Nico taking the far end of the table. Away from those curious eyes. It was the first comfortable silence they had in a while (five days and six hours), and Nico would’ve enjoyed it better if Kotori wasn’t acting all weird. A look at her told Nico everything that was wrong – Kotori’s nails were chipped, bun messily tied up, and looked pretty much the very definition of tired.

She had tons of questions, but she knew there was hardly any point in asking. After all, Kotori never truly spoke her mind, a true enigma. And perhaps that was what attracted her to Kotori in the first place, for she was determined to uncover every side of Kotori that she kept hidden.

“That’s the fifth stitch you did wrong in uh,” Nico faked a glance at the clock on the wall, “approximately 20 minutes.” She returned her gaze upon Kotori, who was utterly fixated at the sewing at hand.

“Ahaha, Kotori is rather bad at this,” was the reply, and it only served to further infuriate Nico, because she knew better than anyone that Kotori wasn’t somebody who made simple mistakes. Not _Kotori_ , not the girl who was observant, careful and every bit of an expert at sewing.

“You’re a bad liar.” Nico said, shifting uncomfortably on the chair. A bad liar who’s terribly good at heart and spent way too much time going out of the way, she thought.

“Am I? Nico-chan is bad at lying too.” And now the liar was accusing _her of lying._

“How so?”

“The three letters in your locker.”  Kotori returned a smile, though it never quite reached her eyes. “You wanted to give them to someone?”

She almost let out an expletive at that, because _god_ she was stupid. Sewing kits were in her locker. And leaving her letters in place where Kotori would no doubt have to check before every sewing session?

“Yeah so? I just decided not to afterwards.” Nico gave a nonchalant shrug. “Change my mind after break. Not like you’re any better.”          

An eyebrow was raised at the word break, but Kotori let out a hum and flashed another smile before looking back down at the costume they’re working on. “How so?” Her words rang across the empty club room, almost with an undertone of challenge.

“ _I_ can tell, Nozomi imparted her skills to me,” Nico retorted, “What happened to ‘not liking anyone’?”

“What about Nico-chan?” She thought about the weeks she spent thinking about her junior, the letters that were never delivered.

“What about _you?_ I asked first!”

Again, with that soft hum and the weak smile. “I think it turned out fine.” Kotori said softly, and it took Nico everything within her to not walk over and hold her in her arms. Whenever Minami Kotori said that things are fine, things are usually anything but - and Nico didn't like it one bit.

“Is it really?”

“Nope, you’re definitely not fine.” Nico muttered to the sharp yelp a moment later. She gritted her teeth and scooted over.

She took the needle and costume from Kotori, before holding Kotori’s hands in her own.

“I’m fine, Nico-chan,” Kotori chuckles, “You worry too much sometimes.”

“Oh yeah? Guess who tripped over her feet during practice, watered the ledge instead of the plants, poked her finger twice with the needle and uh, said that she likes someone to her confessor,” She rubbed her thumb over Kotori’s, each contact leaving her with lingering feelings. “During break, just now.”

“Was that why you’re distracted?” Nico continues, “Do you need the world’s greatest idol to chase your suitor off?” The train of thoughts was speeding through and she had so many burning questions unanswered.

_Who did she like? Who caught Kotori’s eye? Who was hurting her?_

“It’s alright, I can handle this.” It ignited something within, Kotori’s usual answer, like a clashing chord. Discordant, and everything unpleasant. It borderlined upset, and Nico wasn’t entire sure _why_ she was feeling this way.

“I just want to help okay-” She pushed on. “That’s what you always say.”

“Maybe Nico-chan should deal with her own problems first?”

And Nico felt her heart drop at that, the usual ache invading. “Nico knows what to do Nico!” She managed a smile, only to see a similar one in return.

“And when will Nico-chan stop running away?”

The fan swirled slowly in the empty room; the open windows brought the summer heat in, as a wave of heat blazed across Nico’s cheeks. She barely managed to splutter a denial before catching the brief melancholic expression on Kotori’s face.

“Who were you going to give those letters you spent hours on?” The heart-breaking smile was back on full force, and Nico began to think she really hated it. 

“Nobody really.” She let go off Kotori’s hands; it weighted down like an anchor and there’s this part of her that’s almost terrified that her thoughts could be transmitted through physical contact. “Not important. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Oh come on, didn’t we say we will share every secret?” She locked her eyes with Kotori’s, “That day during the festival.”

“I will if you tell me what’s on your mind.”

The cicadas croaked on outside, but the thundering in her chest was louder. Her head pounded, and she could almost hear the fireworks from that day. Kotori’s soft apology afterwards, the lost of warmth when Kotori’s hand slipped away from her own.

“It’s you.” Nico whispered, standing up and ready to bolt. If it wasn’t for that tiny sliver of Yazawa pride she probably would already have. She stayed anyway, because Kotori was holding onto her pinkie.

“Mm.” And that’s all Kotori said.

There was a smile on Kotori’s face that she had not seen in days (five days and eight hours), and it was oddly comforting.

 

 


End file.
